Valentine’s Day Post-Mortem: Notice His Actions (or Lack Thereof) for Valentine’s Day

When you are dating, a man’s actions (or lack thereof) for Valentine’s Day can give you a lot of information. If he is in love with you, he will want to acknowledge Valentine’s Day with a romantic gesture of some kind. Such gestures may be small or large and might be something like a card, candy, flowers, jewelry, or taking you out to dinner. It is not the cost of the gesture that counts, but rather the romantic nature of the gesture. An inexpensive gift of a romantic nature is a better indicator of his interest than an expensive gift that is not romantic for Valentine’s Day. Let’s discuss.

If one suitor gets you an iPad for Valentine’s Day, and another gets you a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, which one likely is more sincere in his interest in you? You may think, given the cost, that iPad Guy would be the more sincere candidate.  I’d argue that Box of Chocolates Guy has more feelings for you. He’s thinking romance, while the man who got you something with a cord (even if it’s a nice fancy gadget!) is thinking practical, not love (Now if he gets you the iPad plus a Valentine’s Day card, that’s different, because he is including a romantic gesture. It’s also fine to get you the iPad as a gift for some other special occasion, but on Valentine’s Day, it’s a red flag if nothing is romantic in nature).

I have seen some women try to argue that the fact that a man got them a costly (but non-romantic) gift alone for Valentine’s Day signifies his love because of the cost. Many of these women later reported back to us that they got dumped a month or two later after receiving the practical gift on Valentine’s Day.

And what about the guy who totally ignores Valentine’s Day? Unless you’ve only met him once or twice, stop seeing him. Any man who is seeing you who ignores Valentine’s Day is out.

When a man is in love, he wants to show he cares on Valentine’s Day. He’s not thinking “Oh this is a stupid holiday created for marketing purposes.”  When a man complains about or skips Valentine’s Day, it’s usually a sign that he’s not in love.

 - Coach Cori at the Love Academy for Women