Valentine’s Day Q & A

In our 2/17/21 post (How Was Your Valentine’s Day) we explained that a man who is in love with you will make a romantic gesture of some sort on Valentine’s Day (it might be a card, flowers, candy or dinner… it’s not the cost that counts but rather that the gesture is romantic, as opposed to practical like a blender.)

We received a great question and thought we would share our response here:

Q: What if you have been dating him a long time and he chooses a practical, but personal gift for Valentine's Day?

A: Great question - it has been our experience that while this seems very thoughtful it’s an indication of feelings that are not as strong romantically.

A practical but personal gift is just fine for a holiday that we associate with friends and family (such as Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, etc.) It's the *romantic* nature of Valentine's Day that is the difference. If he's avoiding romantic gifts in favor of the practical, you are getting some valuable information.

For one example from real life, we worked with someone in a long-term dating relationship whose man bought her flowers each Valentine's Day. Then one year he got her a plant for Valentine’s Day. She told herself "Well, the plant does have flowers on it, so that's sort of like flowers, so it’s still romantic, right?" No. A plant is more friends and family. It's not romantic like a bouquet of flowers. We predicted that the switch from flowers in past years to the plant in the most recent Valentine's Day was a sign that his feelings had cooled. She didn't want to believe it. She argued that we were wrong. Shortly thereafter, he broke up with her.

It has been our experience that a man is showing that he has stronger feelings for you if for Valentine’s Day he chooses romantic gift (even something inexpensive such as a card) as opposed to a fancy or thoughtful but practical gift (such as an expensive Vitamix blender, in case someone was thinking of asking that question… and Coach Cori says that as someone who owns and loves her a Vitamix!)

We encourage women to see the writing on the wall if the Valentine’s Day gift is not romantic.

- Coach Cori at the Love Academy for Women

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